Today I chose to be a writer

Tomorrow I think I'll Be a Fisherman


The Great Demise of Objectivity


What a brilliant talk, I have to say that in terms of philosophy this applies to a great extent. This obsession with devaluing the phenomenal, the subjective and an entire aspect of the pathos, logos, and ethos trinity has unavoidably led to this question.

Does this infatuation with the material and mechanical inhibit our general advancement in terms of philosophy, medicine, science and general personal and cultural evolution?

I think so. It is time for another enlightenment era, one that moves us far away from the industrial revolution and technological rut we are presently in.


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This dark field, overgrown with carnivorous vegetables, is where I found myself. The sweet smell of decomposed flesh coupled with the damp air, overwhelm the senses and cause instant panic. Where was I and more importantly, how did I come to be here? Breath, relax, what had happened?

As my eyes focused and my senses adjusted, I caught slight movement from the corner of my eye and saw a field lettuce devour a small mammal, I blinked and looked away, then looked back. Blood dribbled to the dirt through the leaves as the lettuce relished its catch and began cleaning itself with a grotesque purplish tongue the color of ancient Phoenician shores… I took a deep breath, the gagging smell of spoiled meat and excrement made me heave, and fear began to creep back up my spine, something was wrong, I wasn’t high and I wasn’t dreaming, at least I didn’t think so. Had I been abducted?

I dared to look around. The hills in the distance shimmered with a strange emphatic light and the air was crisp and cold. The ground underneath me felt warm, as if having baked under a warm sun all day. My vision was clear and my consciousness whole, holy shit I was awake!

I dug my fingers into the dirt and stretched my legs out, my head ached dully and my muscles felt sore, I felt like a train had run me over…

This was real, or at least that was my impression, it was real. When I was tripping and astral projecting I could never see or feel my body; the limits of my skin dissolved and there was no “I” so to speak that I could relate to. Now as if to make sure, I looked down at my body and saw that I was just lying on the grass awfully close to a mean looking cactus which seemed to be watching me menacingly. Real or not, I was freaked the fuck out and when Alux Aliester was freaked, he left the premises and sought out a quiet place to relax and just be.

As I stood up and brushed myself off, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d been here before, déjà vu intuition had taken over and I half expected the sudden flash which blinded me and threw me flat on my butt. Pain, real pain, raced up my spine affirming once again the reality of this moment.

Whiteness.  I could hardly see but I could smell, and it stank of herring and ocean. As my vision began to fade back in, I regained my composure, stood up slowly and looked around gracelessly for the source of the strange flash. I saw no immediate trace of it, but slowly my eyes began resolving an impossible silhouette.

“Hello there” Said a melancholic sexless voice, utterly creepy in its neutrality and curiosity, “looking for me”?

I turned to the voice and saw the creature which caused me to give up on all I had once learned concerning evolution, life and everything.

Before me stood a walking, talking Delphinus like being- shiny grey skin, and piercing black eyes, vestigial blow hole and all. The creature stood seven or eight feet tall, on two leg like appendages which still resembled fins if looked at closely. The thing had a mouth full of teeth and was currently smiling at me sinisterly. It carried a staff made from some kind of spiraling wood that held a prism of light on its crown on which was carved the shape of a tree. The source of light I thought to myself. The fear of being eaten alive by vegetation suddenly a faded memory, I found myself entranced by this beings very existence.

We stood like that a moment, scrutinizing each other, I didn’t know what to do next. I dared myself to meet its gaze and saw something remarkable. This creature was sad, it was kind and it loved me deeply. I knew this instantly when our eyes met. The feeling of déjà vu intensified, did I somehow know this creature? I clumsily brushed my auburn hair aside and tried to get it under control, unfortunately I had left my hair-tie, and sanity, behind.


“Long lost child of light, what are you doing in this forgotten field”? It asked me, ignoring the obviously frightened expression I must have been wearing on my face.

“The forgotten field?” I mumbled, unable to find a reasonable thing to say. “I just came to be here, with no recollection of how or why” I managed.

“Hmm”, came the response. This seemed a sufficient answer, for the beast nodded knowingly and its smile grew toothier and sinister. The Prism on top of the staff began to pulse a soft pink.


“W-w-what are you?!” I stammered scared and confused, wanting to be back at home where Dave was probably playing my favorite video game. Dave….

“Where am I?!”
Dammit Dave, if you dosed me in my sleep, I’ll have your head!!!” I yelled hoping, however unlikely, that this bad trip would end and that I would come down and still retain some semblance of sanity. I wanted to run and run and run, I wanted out, it couldn’t be real. I was just going crazy. I Began backing away and made to run far away.

The Delphine saw my courage fail, and suddenly emitted a burst of low frequency sound which invaded me and caused all my fear to melt away. Wave after wave the sound enveloped me in warmth and fuzziness. I stood transfixed, as visions of decay began to assault me-

I could feel everything… all the life being sucked away from everything, only to be replaced by an addictive desire, an unstoppable thirst for mercurial objects and imaginary wealth.

“Stop” I sobbed, “please stop… It’s too much, I can’t…” tears filled my eyes and bile rose in my throat, a myriad of hot emotions awoke in me. I was calm and sad, but also angry and afraid at what I had seen. The vision still burnt into my mind like the after-sight of a dream. That feeling of déjà vu was pressing against my mind, as pervasive as a Candiru fish.

Exasperatedly I gave myself in to the feeling and let it sit. This was important, every fiber of my being screamed attention at this point as if finally awakened by the sound. I gave in to it, and looked up. Determined to know the truth of what was going on.

“Do not be scared” the creature said calmly, “you are in the presence of a member of the most ancient beings on this planet! My name is not Dave, it’s Darbgah and I’m here to guide you forward, towards the eternal realm”.

I stared at Darbgah, the effects of the sound blast still gripping me and calming me so that I could somehow process some of the information I was receiving.

“The oldest beings… eternal realm…” What was he talking about I thought. Did this have something to do with what I saw during that strange aural blast? A few things had become clear to me straight away. It was vital, and it was in trouble, diseased or infected. The eye I had seen resembled the all Seeing Eye which certain philosophers associated with universal mind- consciousness apart from Ego. This Delphinus being claimed to be ancient, and the symbol carved into the prism resembled the tree of life I had seen. There were the numbers 13 and 33, which run deep in freemasonry and the American constitution as well as Abrahamic religious text, I wonder if this could be, were all those crazy conspiracy theorists right?

Darbgah saw the comprehension begin to dawn on my face and gave me a toothy smile while making a very human-like gesture with his fin as if to say bring it on!

I wanted answers! “Darbgah, do you know how I came to be here and why? What did you show me just now? I feel very strange…”

“You have no recollection of finding us, because the way was shown to you by a part of your biology which is eternally tied to us, you have been called forth along with 6 of your Kin to undertake a most perilous endeavor” he replied heavily. “More clarification will ensue, follow me please, we have no more time to waste”.

Drabgah turned left and began walking at a swimming pace. Dumbfounded and with complete lack of resistance, I followed intrigued at his response and growing more curious by the second. What in god’s name had I gotten myself into this time? I wondered. I was able to see many acts of synchronicity everywhere and was slowly beginning to trust my new friend.

“You came to be here metaphysically through a wormhole in your DNA, do not be alarmed all human DNA is encoded with this gene, only the high priest can activate it” continued Drabgah, “yours was activated while you were asleep in order to smooth the transition, as the body takes quite a toll folding in on itself, and remolecularization is never a pleasant experience. Not to mention the effect on the mind, in dreams we accept certain things which we couldn’t in our waking lives.” It hobbled along, and led me towards the edge of the field, where a dark hill loomed over the plane and wavered strangely in the shimmering air.

“Hey Drabgah?” I asked as we walked along a misbegotten path towards the dark hill which I saw was littered with talk black stones, “can you tell me a little about this place? You mentioned the forgotten field earlier, what was that about?”

After some silence Drabgah sighed, and stopped walking and turned to me, sadness suddenly filled the air like a scent, I was worried I’d be hit those sound waves again, but there only came another sigh and: “My long lost friend, we have failed this planet and it’s being. The time has come for us to tell the truth. Come now, the high priest awaits our arrival, All will be explained then”.

So, we walked on, reaching the beginning of the slope leading out of the forgotten field and up onto the hill, beyond all seemed still and dark. For the first time since I cracked my eyes open, I looked up at the sky and noticed the lack of moonlight. Instead the sky was filled with a strange shimmering, as soon as the eye glimpsed the shimmering it moved away so that the eyes seemed to constantly follow certain points- Always being drawn to the center, where it was darkest. In fact seeing it reminded me awfully a lot of coming to grips with that sense of déjà vu.

“Your mind”, began Drabgah, “is a fractal of the greater Mind of our cosmos, the lights you see are merely free thoughts roaming around in the void of yonder darkness” He pointed his staff to the point in the sky which was the darkest and as I followed his gaze I slowly began perceiving the spiraling nature of the darkness and of the light, the very intrinsic shape of it I thought- Just like a ying and yang. Dragbah continued to speak in that strange sexless voice, “this forgotten field is where being and non-being, or light and darkness, exist simultaneously, it is if you wish an island of existence between two worlds. In your world light could be white, whereas adjacently the opposite is true. Such variations exist endlessly through the cosmos, always paired in polar opposites, alternatively.”

“What was with the carnivorous vegetables?” I cut in somehow feeling a connection there and hoping to rationalize what I had experienced.

“The beings that inhabit this field are not as you know them, as I mentioned the extremities meet, so it is not uncommon to find carnivorous plants and herbivores, all of them somatic.” He left it at that mysterious note and picked up his pace.

While walking, a stanza from Zepplin’s “Stairway to Heaven” infatuated me shortly- “and as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our souls, there walks a lady we all know, who shines white light and wants to show….”

The road ahead began to steepen and our pace quickened, Drabgah seemed in a hurry now. I could hear the wheezing and billowing out of the blow-hole all in a shuddering rhythm that made me wonder at her (his?) origins, everything about her screamed femininity at me but yet, I wasn’t sure. There was yet something absolutely sexless about her and the way she spoke. I stared at her caped, arched back and saw her dorsal fin protruding from a slit in the garment glittering in that strange light-nonlight of the ether, it was embroidered in spiraling symbols and waving patterns, I made note of strange leather bands dangling off the edges of that green cape. I took in her ancient nature and began to wonder at that, there were funny anecdotes about Atlaneans and cetaceans which I had recently read about in an article by a certain Mary Sutherland, An esoteric writer whose book I had randomly found on a shelf at the local bookstore. Something about Whales and dolphins being the result of evolution from an ancient “pre-cetacean” race of mammalian beings bred by reptilian creatures from the constellations of Sagittarius which had come to settle the earth in the very distant past.

“We have nearly arrived to the portal” said Drabgah, well she more than said it, she spoke fluidly into my thought pattern, it occurred to me that I was aware of that voice the same kind of way I heard my thoughts, it had taken me a minute to realize what was happening when Drabgah spoke to me, she was speaking telepathically! I guess having been so deep in thought helped me mark the difference. No wonder it sounded so sexless.
“Alux, hear me now as you will. I am glad you have come to terms with me so fast, but proper introductions must wait. Once we are near the portal, you will feel an intense desire to rush into it, but you must resist. Unguided one can be lost in dematerialization for a bitter eternity.”

The calling of my name snapped me to attention, “What should I do? How will I have the will to resist?” I asked ready to indulge and anticipating my first ride through a teleporter. Well, first conscious ride. I was frightened, this was all happening kind of fast.

Drabgah turned to me a big sweet smile on her face full of teeth-rank with the smell of fish- and she greeted me with a flurry of excited chitters, each of which sent waves of empathy through my spine, I smiled back helplessly, somehow I had missed her.

“You must ride on my back, old friend.” She pushed the thought gently into my mind, clear as day and natural as ever.

I looked up while she led me forward, her fin extended towards me, but all I could see was a turbulent maelstrom the color of stars and the night sky. Beams of light shot out and arched into the sky fantastically to sizzle against the black monoliths surrounding the place we stood in. Every hair on my body stood at attention, the energy that permeated the air was devastating. I wanted to dive in, the desire was unmistakable, like needing to jump into the ocean on a hot day but tenfold.
“Come and hold onto me, that way you won’t dash in, once we are in range.”
The command blazed in my mind. I reached out and grabbed hold of her fin, the contact broke my trance and I was able to look away from the gnarly vortex. And stared at her for instruction.

“Lean into me and strap your legs through those leather hoops, then hold onto my dorsal fin or wrap your arms around me, which ever you feel more secure with.”

I did as I was bid almost too fluently and naturally, it all seemed so damn familiar godammit. A hand on her fin and one around the side, I spoke to her with my mind.

“Surge on old friend” I thought to her dearly, and so she did. Chittering and clicking wildly, an ecstatic feel to her, a laugh of joy caught in my throat and I held on tighter as she made to jump into the maelstrom.  We bonded then under those words and energies, and an inkling of hope rose in Drabgah’s aura. I felt it clear as a fluent note. She dove in, I held my breath. Color exploded in my vision, synesthesia overwhelmed me and I felt my being disintegrating, but then an ephemeral chitter and click brought my consciousness back to the moment as we surged through the wormhole towards my destiny.

Chapter 2

As we were projected forward, our Forms dematerializing in a trail of waves and particles, our Being held onto one another, clinging to the physical shape of the bodies we left behind. Held together by our genetic memory, our spirit surged on.

As the colors continued to rush by and my physical senses overlapped to the point of no recognition, our consciousness mingled and all the barriers melted away. I forgot myself and we became metaphysically complete. I knew this was meant to be, I was certain. That nagging feeling of déjà vu resolved itself in the form of a blissful remembrance, a young woman dressed in brilliant mage cloth fighting alongside Drabgah, who was bedecked in dazzling armor consisting of mail and mother of pearl, a fearsome trident in her fin and a vicious snarl on her face. The woman was protecting Drabgah with aural shields while she held the front line of a battle alongside six other creatures.  There was an affinity to the memory as if it belonged to me, I wasn’t sure anymore… who was that women fighting and casting protection spells in the Mage Cloth?

I wanted a closer look and as the intention set in I felt myself drifting towards the scene helplessly. I was suddenly afraid, the only battle experience I have is behind my computer screen massacring a horde of zombies. I didn’t belong here!

I could feel Drabgah’s voice tugging at my thoughts, I opened my mind to hers and heard her call out my name.

“Alux!” bellowed Drabgah, “beware not to lose yourself in your eternal memory. It is good to remember but this is not the time! You are taking us off course!”

I brought myself back to the present, the taste of Alux strong in my mind’s eye, and the rushing colors along Drabgahs meta-form resonating underneath me- its dolphin smelling frequency.

Drabgah chittered,
“Prepare yourself for reformation” she warned “we shall be exiting the stream soon”

I focused my consciousness and prepared for something I had no Idea how to prepare for. Yet, I was focusing and prepared; no doubt in my Mind. The texture around us ripped with a very sharp sounding twang of yellow and I saw white light coming towards us at an incredible speed, I began to scream but had no mouth to scream out of.

I was just about to implode with fear when we collided with the light and broke through a barrier of sorts where I painfully felt my body regenerate one particle and wave at a time. My senses re-aligned themselves despite my unwillingness. My vision came flooding back as we tumbled out onto a grassy floor. It was all overwhelming, all I could perceive was the taste of vomit on my lips and a belligerent head which ached from inside-out. I heard myself groan and then tried to look up my vision was swimming before me and I could hear Drabgah calling out my name, then all was dark.